Entri Ini Bukan Untuk Dibaca

Posted: Saturday, November 6, 2010 by skidsoil in Labels: , , , ,
9

Senangnya bila nak suruh orang senaraikan apa yang dia tak suka tentang kita, siap boleh bacakan list tanpa henti sedetail-detailnya. Yes, I have flaws, I'm aware of that. Tapi bila tanya apa yang baik tentang kita, terus terdiam. Nak namakan satu benda pun tak dapat. The only answer that I will get is a long pause, errr.. Seriously am I that bad? Aku memang manusia jahat pun, hati aku mencarut-carut, tak henti-henti, tak putus-putus, tak sudah-sudah.

Dan kenapa orang anggap aku sebagai terlalu bodoh? Sebab senang nak tipu aku? Nak main-mainkan aku? Wujud ke lagi such thing as honesty? We all lie for reasons, tapi kalau dah tahap nak bodoh-bodohkan tu macam dah melampau. People said they are going to change, yet they did it again somehow. I am complaining because there's nothing else I can do, I just have no idea what to do to keep things good. Aku geram dan tak ada ape yang aku boleh buat.

You wanna hear my side of story? Setiap kali orang buat salah, I will try to look beyond their mistakes by remembering all the good things they have done. Still, though I'm giving them chances I can't easily forget what has happened. Orang senang je nak marah-marah dengan tindakan aku, cuba lah letak youself in my shoes then fikir apa agaknya korang rasa. Ha, cakap memang la senang kan, cuba rasa sendiri tengok. Agak-agak boleh tahan tak?

The fact that people only interested in our good side, or should I say they only accept us when we are happy, is killing me. Bila mana kita sedih atau marah, they deny us. Tak sanggup nak hadap muka kita bila kita sedih, tak sudi nak layan bila kita marah-marah. Kalau tak boleh nak terima diri secara total, baik tak payah langsung kan. Aku emosi merapu ni sebab takde sape aku nak luahkan, dengan segala benda aku nak pendam memang lambat la nak ok.

Aku dah tak percaya lagi dah orang kata bila buat baik dibalas baik, bila sayang dibalas sayang, bila setia dibalas setia. Ah, karutlah semua tu. Rasa dah give up, boleh tak nak kata I'm done being good. Maybe it's time for me to be.. uhm.. let me just keep the taught for my own. Kalaulah aku ni pendendam, I would have done awful things, tapi I just don't have the heart to do such things. And for one reason, aku bertahan dan pasrah. Tapi sampai bila?

ps: I'm officially a total loser! Dengan tiang pun aku boleh kalah. FCUK!

9 comments:

  1. rasa nak pegi shah alam sekarang jugak and give you a great big hug. but i cant coz i have my finals coming up. seriously dear, i miss you.

  1. skidsoil says:

    thanks dear. i'm fine just that i wrote this entry out of rage. i don't like this entry, it's totally emotionally laden, should have deleted it. i don't know, i seriously don't.

  1. oh dear im soo gona beat that guy (or girl) up! sape buat u marah ni. grr. btw, dont think too much ok.

  1. safra says:

    nangis aku bace entri ni..
    aku sgt faham..
    so am i.betol ape yg ko kate tu..
    tp ape yg leh buat pasrah je..

  1. skidsoil says:

    farah aww, dats so sweet of u. thanks dear for ur concern.

    safra told u kite serupa kan. one day org akn appreciate kita selayaknya yg kita dpt.

  1. jakob88 says:

    relaks la..org ni mmg..salu tgk salah org je..kalo kite wat baik 1000 kali pn tp wat salah sekali..yg sekali tu jugak diungkit2..pape pun kte kne kuat..peduli kan semua org..yang penting ko happy..hehe,

  1. skidsoil says:

    giler xhepi kalu dah ade member support mcm ni. terharu kot. aku xde ape sgt weh, emo2 bese aje. ikut musim neh.

  1. gabbana says:

    Sabar je la...

    Shit happens.. all the time...

  1. skidsoil says:

    yup shit does happen. aku pon extreme kt belog ni je, luar oke je.

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